Life Without Joey?
by crazyfangirlll698
Summary: This is a sequel to my earlier story 'Bruising to the heart' Lauren and Joey are married and everything is fine until Lauren notices a difference in Joey. He then unexpectedly leaves her life. What will Life without Joey bring?
1. Chapter 1

Lauren's pov: I moved around the kitchen, collecting a few things for dinner.

"Helllo" Peter boomed through the house.

"Pete, I love you and all but I am making a special dinner for joey and I and I don't want to be disturbed!" I shouted back.

He came to stand in the kitchen and he took a seat at the table.

"Ahem" I said as he grabbed the newspaper from the table and put his feet up on the table in front of him.

I pushed his feet off the table.

"Make yourself at home why don't you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh I have and I will! Anyway.. Why are you doing a special dinner for joey when his birthday is In a few days?" He asked, focusing still on the newspaper in front of him.

"Joes going on a business trip all weekend, including his birthday. Which is very annoying if you ask me. I just want to spend my husbands birthday with my husband.. Is that to much to ask?" I stared out of the window. I watched the birds tweet and fly around.

"Mmm" Peter mumbled quietly. He searched up and down the newspaper thoroughly again and again. "A business trip eh?" Peter said suspiciously.

I nodded my head and once again pushed his feet of the table, wiping the table with a wet cloth to rid the dirt off my shiny table. "So you haven't even questioned this? Your husband has been acting really weirdly.."

This was true. I had only confided in Peter and no one else about this subject. Joey and I had a daily routine; he would wake up first, leave me a note which I would find on his pillow next to mine, I would get ready and get on with my day, Peter would come over and have a chat with me or we would go out for lunch, I would just relax, joey would come home and give me a kiss, I would of made dinner the day before and we would eat, we would watch some tv and head to bed. The last weeks were weird though. He would leave a note, I would wake up and eat breakfast, do MY daily routine, but lately joey had been late from work and I would eat dinner on my own, which meant joey had his dinner when we were supposed to relax together watching tv, and even then sometimes that would involve a heated kissing sessions which ended with us in bed ready for sleep. But lately I had been going to bed without those AMAZING heated kissing sessions and the also AMAZING sex sessions. On weekends he would rather spend his time either doing extra shifts at the R&R or sit In the vic drinking with his mates instead of spending time with his wife! I didn't understand it or him.. Anymore! I had tried to discuss it with him but he was having none of it. Those extra shifts at the R&R weren't even needed.. We were fine with money.. Plus joe was the manager of the club anyway. I worked from home which was sometimes boring.. I just created art for businesses like I did for my dad back in the day.. Me and joey had been married for a year now and even for our anniversary which was a few days ago he had given me a present and made the excuse the R&R was 'short on staff' AGAIN!

"Plus he didn't even give you any notice on your anniversary.." Peter carried on.

"Anyway what's happening with you, Alice and lola?" I asked Peter, trying to change the subject.

He sighed and gave me one of those 'I know what your doing' looks and replied to my question.

"As you know me and lola was just a fling while we were on holiday together as a group.. And it wasn't serious so when I started taking an interest to Alice she started getting mad. I told her it would of never worked and since then it's been awkward between us.. Especially since me and al have made it clear we both like each other." He said, sighing after every 5 words.

I nodded my head and cut up the carrots for mine and joeys meal. Peters phone beeped and suddenly he shot to his feet. I watch his face light up as he reads further on more of the text he was sent.

"Alice?" I questioned. He looked at me cheekily and bit his lip. I laughed loudly and was shocked to see a depressed looking joey stood in the hall way.

"Hey you!" I smiled. He faked a smile and took his shoes and cost off.

The door slammed and Peter hurried from mine and joeys house to where I would guess Alice would be.. Just a guess.

"Are you hungry? Cause I have a very nice meal cooking for us for later babe.." I teased him.

"Sorry babe. No can do. Work calls.." He said.

I frowned. "What?" I screamed at him.

"Calm down babe!" He whispered stroking my arm.

"No I will not calm down! Is this how it's always going to be? You making excuses to just get away from me.. I thought we were okay.. We are married for gods sake and the only time I see you is when your home from work at 2 in the morning!" I shouted back angrily.

"Okay babe.. We can do the meal when I get back." He suggested sweetly.

"It's not even about that! And back from where.. Exactly? Where?" I shouted back.

He sighed. "I told you.. I'm on a business trip.." He started.

"No! No! I don't believe you! You have been acting strangely and you are never with me anymore! If you don't love me anymore.." I said. The last part turning into barely a whisper.

He shook his head and went to put a strand of hair behind my ear but I slapped his hand away. "Of course I lo-"

"What's the point of being a part of this marriage?" I Interrupted him with a comment which blew him away.

He shook his head. "Your divorcing me?" He whispered.

I shook MY head and smiled at him weakly. "But if this marriage keeps going on the ways it's going.. I might just have to put an end to the suffering marriage." I let tears fall.

He sighed and put his shoes back on. "Your just being silly.. I have just been stressed."

"About what exactly? You don't think it rubs off on other people like maybe.. Your wife who lives with you?"

He went to leave and he did. I ran after him outside. He turned around. "Stop following me.. I need some time alone."

"Look joe.. That's all that your going to be soon.. Alone!" I whispered back to him. "What's stressing you?" I asked.

He sighed and looked at me lost. "Nothing.. Forget it!"

"No I won't forget it! What's stressing you out so much you can't stand to tell your own wife?"

We had now attracted a crowd which included my uncle jack and the rest of the family and walford residents.

"I said nothing..." He shouted.

"Tell me" I screamed.

"Just tell her joe" uncle jack said calmly. "She deserves to know or else.."

"You told uncle jack?" I whispered to joey. I pushed joey and broke down in tears. "Your killing me inside joe! Just tell me!" I screamed.

"Fine! I was going away this weekend and I was never coming back lo! It's not that I don't love you! Of course it's not.. I want to spend the rest of my life with you but- I have cancer! And I have been told I only have days to live. I was going to leave a note telling you all about it! That's why I was acting so strange- I am dying lo! And I didn't want to tell you cause I knew it would kill you- just like it would kill you watching me die. I have already told uncle jack who I am sure was acting distant to you as well. I'm so very sorry lo.. But I can't do it anymore.. Take the treatment.. Go to the appointments.. Just promise me one thing.. You won't drink.. And you won't blame yourself for everything. I hope you find love again lauren.. I love you! I'm sorry it had to be this way.. But the divorce papers will be at your door in just a few days or weeks I'm sure.. When I'm gone!" He cried. I watched him walk away after giving me and Alice a kiss. I sobbed and fell to the floor.

"Don't-" I croaked.

I couldn't believe it.. In just a few days joey would be gone forever. Dead. Done. And there was nothing I could do about it!


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren's pov: I sat with a cup of coffee in my hand with extra milk.. I looked up through my wet eyelashes which tears had caught onto.

"I want to just be there with him to just give him hugs and kisses and tell him everything would be fine!" Alice sobbed quietly opposite the kitchen table to me.

My uncle jack nodded his head understandably. "I know babe, we all want to be there for him!" He sighed.

I hadn't talked for the last 3 hours after straining my voice screaming for joey.

"Well then why didn't you tell anyone about it! You knew he was going to leave without telling anyone and just handle all this stress and this illness on his own! Why didn't you tell us?" I croaked.

My uncle jack looked at me sorrowfully. "I'm so sorry lo."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Why? Why are you sorry? Because my husband told you about him being ill and you kept it to yourself. And now no one will ever see him again and you didn't even warn us all! Is that why your sorry eh?" I shouted at him.

He was taken back and bowed his head. "I know it was silly but.."

"No! There is no excuses to make! I'm going out!" I screamed at him.

"Where?" My dad asked, disturbing the peace.

"To go and get some nice chocolates and a movie for us all to cosy up to tonight. What do you think? To find my husband maybe.. He can't have got that far.. He was supposed to go in two days to the place he was staying at, isn't going to be ready yet is it?" I said a little quieter.

"No you don't!" My uncle jack screeched. "I'm not having you go out at eleven o'clock to who knows!"

"I'm coming with you" Alice said, wiping her tears. Peter stood up.

"I'll go" he said smiling at me. I nodded my head and smiled at him in thanks. He truly was and always would be my best friend.

"How do you know joeys not in a clinic or somethin'" my dad asked.

I scoffed. "Knowing joe he will be staying at a nice hotel with comfy beds and.."

Alice laughed at me and nodded her head. "That's joey"

I smiled to myself and returned my attention to my father and uncle. "Close the door behind ya" I said chucking the spare keys at them.

After about a hour and a half later me,Alice and Peter were sat in a local chippy eating our sorrows. I finished my chips which were just like joey made them. I threw the packet which held the chips and fish in just minutes ago. I shut the lid of the bin and licked my fingers clean of the vinegar. Alice looked at Peter and looked to me. "Sorry have I missed something here?" I asked, pointing between my two best friends. Alice shook her head and Peter simply whispered "no."

I shook my head. "We shouldn't be here."

"Finally! Lets head back to the square yeah?" Peter said smiling at me.

I looked at him as to say 'what are you doing?' And Alice realised this. Peter groaned out in pain as Alice slapped his arm.

I rolled my eyes at the couple. They were classed as 'cute' by local residents of Albert square. But with Peter being my first love and Alice being joeys sister, it was a bit weird.

"No.. I meant lets head off to a local hotel and stay there. I have some cash.. Enough for us to stay there for the night and early morning we will head out and look again..

"Do you think that's what we should really do eh, lo?" Peter asked me.

Alice raised an eyebrow at me. "If I'm on my own then then that's fine! Go home and ill talk in the morning.." I sighed.

"Lo" Alice started. "No! I am not taking no for an answer! Thanks for all the help tonight." I said.

"We'll help tomorrow?" Peter suggested.

I shrugged and gave al a hug and Peter a kiss on the cheek. "Night guys" I said making my way out of the chippy. I rushed out to the local hotel we had passed earlier. I saw in just the corner of my eye.. A club. I saw some boys my age make their way into the club and I followed them. I checked my purse, £70 which I had earned through my work earlier this week. I was going to buy something for joey for his birthday tomorrow.. But instead I was spending this money on drinks and probably a taxi to guide me back home in the early hours of the day tomorrow. This was a routine I would carry out when I had the drinking.. Problem. But to be honest I wasn't thinking about that right now. I wasn't thinking about anything.. Just.. Fun. All that kept me going was joey.. And I don't even have him now! I needed a drink..

Joeys pov: I shook dans hand and made my way In to the club. I had just hours ago broke so many people's hearts including the woman I love.. Always have and always will love for the rest of my soon to be very short life. I was going to enjoy myself tonight cause I knew in days to come I would be sat in a hospital fighting for my life that was now not even worth fighting for. I had lost the woman I love and Alice.. And all the other people I thought I would never miss. "Alright who's getting the first round?" Dan said, clapping his hands together. I nodded at his eyebrows which had rose in suspicion. "Sure" I said smiling. I made my way to the bar where there was a barmaid smirking at me. "What can I get you and your mates then?" She asked. I smirked back at her, forgetting the girl I love who was most probably crying her eyes out, "4 beers and 3 shandies." She rose her brow, "magic word?" "Please" I said childishly. She nodded her head in improvement and made sure to bend over and sway her hips from side to side as she blissfully made mine and the boys drinks. "So then what's your name?" I asked hitting her bum. She giggled for a few seconds before turning around and faking a shocked expression. "Natalie" she stated. "Can you guess what my name is?" I teased. "Hmm.. Let me think.. Not-my-type?" She teased back. "No I think you've mistaken me for someone else! Joey." I said reaching a hand out to shake hers. I looked at her eyes which followed my hands movement. My wedding ring probably gave away the point I was married. "Err yeah. Here are you drinks!" She said, handing me the drinks. "Need a hand?" Dan suggested. I nodded. We sat down drinking for a few minutes until dan spoke up. "Not been working your miracles for a bit then eh?" He asked. I frowned. He nodded over to the barmaid who was flirting with my friend, John. I nodded and laughed a little. I made my way to the toilet along with dan and tried my luck with a few blonde skinny girls along the way. "Mmm" dan mumbled to me. I laughed at him. "I know I am embarrassing.." "Out of practise" dan added. I nodded and felt a little dizzy, I grabbed onto the toilet sink. "You okay?" Dan asked. "Yeah, just the drink. I haven't had one for a bit for the sake of my.. Wife." He screamed "what?" I shook my head at him. "Doesn't matter" I said softly. I felt that dizziness rush to my head once again. I gripped onto the sink and closed my eyes. This wasn't the drink.. Oh no.. This was the cancer.. Feeling. I fell to the floor. I heard mumbles of my name. I heard movement and a phone dialling. I even heard some people gather around me, talking. These noises faded out until I heard and saw nothing.. Everything just went black.

Lauren's pov: my head was banging from the one drink I had just had with these weirdos that had made there way to the dance floor. They ushered me over there to join in there little dancing competition. But I told them I needed air, and promised them that I would be back soon after the break for fresh air. I made my way out of the club and saw a young man being pushed into an ambulance. I didn't want to go back there! Did I? I looked in my purse. £70. Those creepiest boys ever had bought all those drinks. I shook my head in disappointment and banged my head against the brick wall. I cried out in pain, the head being a part of it and the drink rushing to my head, but most of all the lost, lost of my husband, the man I loved more than anyone.

Joeys pov: I heard a familiar cry of help. It was the girl I loved the most. Lauren. "Lauren" I croaked out. I needed her here, I thought I would be okay on my own but I wasnt. I needed her and her love. "Lauren" I screamed. "Take it easy love" the paramedic said to me. Dan bowed his head. "Alice?" He questioned. I nodded. "Please get her.. And lauren!"


	3. Chapter 3

Lauren's pov: I sat in the living room of my fathers house, bowing my head in shame.

"What were you thinking?" Alice shouted. "Do you know how selfish it is, to have a dying husband and you're just dancing around and drinking with random blokes in clubs?" She shouted again.

I cried and nodded my head. "What am I supposed to do though?" I asked.

"Err maybe not drink?" She suggested. I looked at her and I then knew I had done wrong.

I sniffled. Peter came rushing in.

"Who's dan?" He shouted at Alice.

She looked at him ashamed at his actions. She strained her eyes and wiped her tears away,

"I can explain-"

"no no no! You can't!" He shouted.

"Dan is joeys friend!" She screamed.

I fought back tears at the mention of his name. They continued to argue so I snatched the phone out of peters hand.

"Hello?" I said.

Alice and Peter looked at me. I put it on speaker for everyone to hear as soon as they had all quieted down.

"Who's speaking?" He asked.

"Alice" Alice said.

"Oh hey, not talked for a while have we? Erm.. It's your brother.. He is making his way to hospital now." Daniel said.

Alice let out a high pitched cry as dan kept silent.

"Is lauren there?" He asked. Alice nodded at me and I spoke up.

"Hello" I sniffled.

"Hey, this is dan and I'm your husbands friend. He has been in a club and he fainted just 4 minutes ago. He wants you to meet him at London hospital?" He informed me unsure how I would react.

"Okay" I croaked out.

He ended the call after minutes of silence. As soon as Alice's phone beeped Alice burst out crying.

I just curled up in a ball and lets tears fall silently.

"I'll drive you?" My dad asked, patting my leg.

I rocked for a bit before standing up. "I'm going to brush my teeth."

I informed everyone. Peter comforted Alice and kissed her head over and over again, being rejected every time.

"I'm sorry baby" he whispered while my uncle jack sat in silence.

Joeys pov: I closed my eyes and screamed out in pain as the doctors and nurses carried me onto the bed.

"On the count of 3.. 1.. 2..3."

I groaned and felt my hand being squeezed. It was a nurse.

"Lauren?" I asked. She smiled at me

"she will be here soon I am sure." I nodded and thanked her.

I lay in silence for the next hour or so while the doctors looked over me and dan explained everything to them and the police. He had told them I had just had a bad day and needed a distraction but yet no one knew about my illness but now they do.. I smiled as I saw dan enter the room with the nice nurse,

"there's a Miss Branning here to see you?" I smiled and nodded my head in excitement.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked as a girl entered the room.

I nodded and smiled at him thankfully. Alice came in.. I frowned and she saw..

"I'm no lauren but I am your sister!" She said.

I shook my head, why did I actually think that lauren would come that easily cause I had broken her heart!

"Lauren.. Can't come..." She added.

I scoffed, "yeah right! She'll probably never want to see me or have anything to do with me again!" I said.

Alice shook her head viciously.

"That's not it!" She croaked, letting tears fall.

"Then what is it? Eh, al?" I asked.

She cried harder now.

"What's happened to MY lauren?"

Hope you liked it all. Next chapter will be posted soon.

just so you know, this will have 20 odd chapters. Thanks xx

twitter- jacqwitts_


	4. Chapter 4

Alice's pov: after that phone call the room had been silent for what was really a matter of seconds when it felt like forever. Lauren had been in such a state today after joey left. And that phone call gave not only her but all of us hope that we could be there for joey if he'd let us that is. We were waiting for the taxi when we heard the Big Bang which would change all tonight's events. Lauren would no longer see joey but a councillor. She had drunk a couple of drinks.. of vodka. Or at least she said she had a 'couple.' Whether I believed her.. I didn't quite yet know but what I did know is that, whether a couple of drinks were in her system or hundreds were, the drinks would soon be accompanied by another 'couple' of drinks. After the bang we had all rushed upstairs. Peter had his arms around my waist. I gasped as I saw the body lying on the floor in the bathroom, peters grip tightened.

Lauren's pov: I gave my dad a weak smile as his tears became visible on his cheeks. "Daddy?"

"Lauren!" He spoke, rushing up to my hospital bed and squeezing my hand.

Again I smiled, but very short. I would occasionally catch onto a few words my dad was speaking, but mostly I thought about.. Joey. The man I loved, who was mine. Who was.. Ill? With me being in hospital.. I knew that, unfortunately, the memories that were stored in my mixed up head were real. I have never even thought about joey being ill until he brought up the whole 'cancer' thing. I asked him constantly what was up but I soon stopped as I thought that asking him all the time was going to push him to make that same excuse again all the time.. Work. I had gave up hope of this whole work situation when he announced he was to go on a business trip. Deep inside, I knew something wasn't right. But what was I supposed to do? I love the man.. I couldn't even start to think about him cheating.. I thought he loved me, and I'm sure he still does. But it's hard to tell when you're in a hospital and your husbands in another. Plus.. He was going to run away from me.. From us.

"Why did you do it eh lauren?" My dad asked.

"I dunno"

"You don't know? Look lauren.. That's not good enough! I want a full explanation as to why I found my daughter lay on the bathroom floor with 2 empty bottles of vodka, okay?"

I ignored my father until he finally pushed the very last button. "Were you not even thinking about THEM?"

I cried harder and fell into his arms. "I was.. They were all I could think about! But the vodka stopped those thoughts.. And in my mind that was good! All I could think about was the man I love who was in hospital alone with cancer and his mate he hasn't seen for years. And them.. The little balls of life inside of me. They are so tiny.. They were." I croaked out.

My dad patted my back and pushed my hair out of my face. "You haven't lost them babe!"

"Not yet" I sniffled. "I've lost him.. So why not lose everyone who I actually love and care about. I mean mums gone and you've left plenty of times before. What's wrong with ME? Why does everyone leave ME?"

"Nothings wrong with you lauren and I'm not leaving you now, am i? Don't think like that babe. It's not gonna get you anywhere but in a miserable state of mind. You have to think happy thoughts.. At least a half positive side to things."

He wasn't making me feel better one bit.

"Mrs branning?" The doctor asked. I nodded.

The councillor who I had seen years ago was also with the doctor. I wasn't going back.. No way in hell.

The doctor coughed. "Ahem. Well I have some good news but also some bad." He said.

My dad sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Break it to me easily." I said.

The doctor nodded slowly. "The bad?" He asked me. My dad raised an eyebrow.

I nodded again and smiled at my dad who gripped my hand hard.

"The bad news is.. You have to go back to counselling or rehab. What ever fits your case you will be suggested by your very own councillor." He said, motioning to the woman stood next to him, my 'very own councillor.'

"The good news?" My dad questioned, raising his head to look into the doctors eyes.

"Your babies are.. Okay." He said moving his hand from side to side.

"Ok?" My dad asked.

"They may have been affected by the drinking but you can't really tell quite yet but we may be able to find out for you tomorrow which means..."

"More bad news." I stated.

"You have to stay in over night and we will monitor you and the babies for further progress."

My dad sighed and let go of my hand. He made his way to the doctor and shook his hand.

Joeys pov: "she's in hospital?" I asked Alice for the fifth or fourth time.

"Yes joey, but so are you so you need to calm down." Alice said slowly holding me back as I attempted to rip out the wires attached to me.

I was weak and so the holding back thing.. Yeah it worked.

"B-b-b-but I love her!"

"I know! But maybe you should have made that a tiny bit more clear before you disappeared to god knows where!" She shouted.

I sat back in my bed. "I'm sorry for shouting-"

"I need to see her! Why is she in hospital?"

"She drank-"

"No. No. No! I made her promise that she wouldn't go back to it like she always does." I shouted.

"Yes, but I'm sure you promised her a lot too, that you didn't keep up. On your wedding day she promised you that she would be there for you in health and all.. But you never gave her that chance to fulfil that promise so- I guess your even."

"No! We will never be even! I have let her down too many times. TOO MANY!" I boomed.

"Well fix it then!" Alice screamed back at me. She made her way out of the room and slammed the door. Peter frowned at her but caught my eye and soon his frown turned to a glare. An evil glare. I hated him, but for Alice and lauren.. Anything. I motioned him to come in but he shook his head viciously and made his way to Alice. I shouted as loud as I could to Peter. His head shot around and gave me a glance over. "Please!" I pleaded with him. He looked at me, then back at Alice numerous times.

"What is it joey?" Peter asked me, peering through the door.

I looked at the chair and patted it, the one next to me. He took it wearily. I smiled at him weakly.

"You seem to not be in hospital, so can you visit lauren?" I asked hopefully.

I saw him think about this deeply. His eyes softened and his head nodded in agreement.

"Go after Alice and bring her back. Ill give you a note for lauren while I talk to Alice, yeah?"

"How am I supposed to get Alice?" Pete asked.

"I don't know, maybe persuade her? Just tell her I'm sorry and all that.. I need to talk to her. Please, she'll listen to you..?" I begged.

"How do you know she'll listen to me? Eh? My ex- fling is always on our case. She-"

"Look Peter" "I can't believe I'm saying this." I muttered.

"Lola? She isn't a problem.. Alice loves you.. I know that. And I also know that I love her soo much. So if you would of hurt her, or If I knew you would hurt her. You must know I wouldn't let you near we at all. Look.. What I'm trying to say is that.. You can prove yourself to me by getting my sister who I love as much as you do. So then you can go and give a message to the other woman in my life I love so much. In dying Peter. And that must hurt her! I didn't realise until now, what a big impact it makes on family! But it's big news for all of us. I can't personally believe it, I was mortified when I heard I had cancer. All I could think about was my family and friends. This could be the last time I have of saying goodbye to Alice and lauren. So please... Help?" I pleaded.

My face was streaked with tears. I watched him take in all I said. I wasn't good with words and I was stumbling most of the time, but by his face.. I think he understood me.

"You know I wouldn't normally ask for help. Especially from my wife's ex boyfriend and sisters boyfriend." I added.

Peter nodded and grabbed my hand.

"I love your sister. I haven't told her but I will. And I'm going now. I know you love lauren and I have no idea how awful it would feel to not have the chance. The last chance to say 'I love you' to the one and only." He stuttered.

I took my hand away, being strong. But deep beneath, I'm weak. Very.

"Okay okay okay." This was making me upset and emotional.

"Go! Bring back Alice and come back for this note! Paper? Pen? Please?" I said.

Peter nodded and gave me the items in response. He hurried out of the hospital to where Alice would be, hopefully. As I wrote a letter to my dear lauren..


	5. Chapter 5

Lauren's pov: "Peter?" I mumbled as he made his way into my sight.

"No sorry. His girlfr- Alice. Alice said.

I frowned at her.

"Not together then?" I asked.

There was no reply. It was silent so I decided to speak up again.

"Why you here? To give me another piece of your mind?" She shook her head and my question.

"What you here for then?" I asked.

"I went to see joey-"

"What? When? Where? Is he doing okay? Is he alive? What did he say?" I questioned Alice hurriedly.

She sighed and sat down. "I wasn't there long enough to find out. He was asking about you. It just made me feel guilty. I shouted at you, and you'd just lost the man you love!" She whispered.

I placed my hand on hers gently. "Al. It's fine-"

"No it's not! Don't act like its normal to shout at a woman who's just found out hours ago that her husband has been diagnosed with cancer. I felt guilty. So guilty. Joey was so lost without you. That's why I've come to see you. I was wondering whether you would consider seeing him. It will be hard with you both in hospital- but. We can always try Skype, FaceTime. Old fashion way? Write letters? Email? I know you'd want to see and touch him in the flesh. But it's not even a nice sight to see. And you're both very fragile now so lets keep it low key, yeah?" She said.

I smiled at her. "You're trying so hard. Do me a favour and take a sit back. A sit down. Peter loves you and you love him. You don't want to loose him. I have lost joey so many times now. And every time it pushed me to the edge, and I end up drinking. If you leave Peter, if you leave the person who you love. You'll find your weakness in a matter of seconds and hammer it. Who knows where you'll end? Please Alice. Me and joey will sort something out. Just give him this before its too late. There's a picture and note. Don't let him open it until he goes to bed and misses me, okay?" I said.

She nodded and smiled small. "He'll always miss you, I don't ever think he'll go to bed. But you on the other hand.. Well. You haven't had any beauty sleep. Your a right state. Don't want joey Skype calling a woman with bags under her eyes who claims to be his gorgeous wife. He'll think it's an imposter!" Alice whispered, laughing sadly.

I sniggered. "Thanks" I scoffed. She laughed and stroked my face and gave my hand a squeeze. She released my grip on the picture and note and let me go to what she thought was sleep. But what was really a time for me to just take another guilt trip down memory lane with the banging headaches and the machinery digging into my sides. I would wonder wether id open my eyes to reveal whether or not I, the babies or joey were still alive. It was scary as hell. And I hated every second of it. If I would continue to hate my lived- life.. Would soon be revealed, I guess.

Ohh! Tell me what you think guys.

twitter- jacqwitts_


	6. Chapter 6

Peters pov: "Alice?" I shouted. Her head shot around as soon as she stepped out of the hospital. She cried. I opened my arms but instead of running into my arms, she ran into a taxi. I followed her and found a note and a picture attached to it. I turned it around to the letter and knew straight away it was Lauren's handwriting (it was scruffy)

'Dear joey..' I couldn't read on. I placed if in my pocket to replace joeys letter to lauren. I made my way into the hospital and onto Lauren's ward. I walked down to her room where she was lay.

"Hey" I said softly. She smiled at me and patted the seat.

"Alice has just been." She said.

"I know. She ran out crying her eyes out." I admitted. I smiled weakly.

"Oh no." Lauren coveted her mouth with her hand. I grabbed yet hand gently and moved it to her lap.

"Don't worry lo. Ill sort her out. Whole you read this." I said, handing her the note from joey.

She frowned and read the first line; 'My lauren,'

"Joey" she spoke. She dropped the letter and I picked it up. But when I stood back up I faced a vomiting lauren shaking.

"We need help please" I screamed to the doctors at reception. They all rushed forward and attended to lauren. I caught her eyes and I knew I had to give joey the note before it was to late. At least then I would know joey had read the note before something happened. At least HE'D have closure. Most unlikely that lauren would have time on her hands to read the long letter from her cousin. I rushed outside and into a taxi. I phoned abi and made sure she would be at the hospital as soon as possible and she had told me shed be there in minutes. I made my way into the hospital where joey was, I was dreading this. I was giving him this note, knowing it could well be the last bit of lauren he would have with him.


	7. Chapter 7

Joeys pov: "Alice?" I questioned, shocked.

"No, it's Peter. I saw Alice leave Lauren's hospital. Alice ignored me and left in a taxi. I went to see lauren after Alice left, but-"

"But?" I asked Peter.

"Something happened." He said slowly.

"What happened?" I shouted.  
"Is lauren okay?"

"She was. And she's still alive. But-"

"But?" I mirrored.

"Alice dropped this when she made her way into the taxi, flowing with tears." He said, handing me a note.

I nodded and he left. I would soon want an explanation but whatever lauren said to Alice made her cry. And Peter saying lauren was Alice but- he never got any further. I opened the letter and strained my eyes. I read the first line. "Lauren." I spoke (it was her scruffy handwriting)

Dear my joey,

I love you. I can't believe that while I was thinking about if you were cheating on me , inside you knew that soon you would leave me to die. Baby, why didn't you tell me? Why? I love you and I still do. I wanted to be there for you, and to tell you everything would be okay. I know it isn't okay, I just wanted the chance to tell you it would be. To give you some hope. It only bothers me that I'm not there next to you through this hard time. But I guess that's my own fault. When you shouted back "don't drink" I didn't even give that a thought as I drunk that night. I looked for you, for so long. That night I looked thoroughly through the streets with Alice and Pete. I couldn't find you. I had 70 quid in my back pocket and went out after they headed home. I went in a club and got a few free drinks from these geezers. I headed outside when I saw an ambulance with a man being pushed inside it. Just yesterday I found out it was you. I thought back to when I was in hospital because of the drink. I didn't and I still don't want to go back to where I was. I went home and was getting some grief from your sister. She gives a right good telling off you know. She'll make a good mum. And Pete will be good to her. They love each other. Just cause we didn't have a happy ever after doesn't mean they cant. I was guilty and all I was thinking about was you and who really mattered. I wanted to stop those thoughts somehow. I found vodka in the drawer in my old room at my dads house. It was stored under the bed where I kept them when I lived there. I drank 2 bottles and that's all I remember. And now in here. Before you go, before I leave your life somehow. I want you to know something. The picture will explain everything. If you love, if you die. Ill leave your life either way because I can't face you. I promised you I wouldn't drink. We've been through so much, too much! I'm sorry joe. Your Lauren xxx

I dried my tears and looked at the back of the photo. Where this was written;

"They're yours. And so am I. Always. Xxx"

I turned the photo around to reveal what was 'supposedly mine' along with my wife. It was a scan. 2 squiggles. 2... Babies. Mine.


	8. Chapter 8

Lauren's pov: "Peter" I smiled at him as he made his way into the living room. "Hey" he replied, bowing his head. "Whats up with you, eh?" "Nothing" he said looking at me with a look of guilt. "Do you want a drink?" I questioned. "Yes" replied.. My mum? She hurried into the living room. "What are you doing here?" I asked her. She smiled at me. "Just a visit" Alice replied. "Okay what's happening?" I asked, shocked. 5 minutes later and id made 3 coffees and 2 teas, as my uncle jack and dad decided to turn up. "Okay" I said bringing in the 2 teas for my uncle and dad. They took them off me and Peter gave out the last three coffees. I had already made myself a glass of water. I drank from that for a minute whilst everyone stared at me doing this action. "Right, just get on with it!" I sighed. My dad coughed but before he spoke Alice put down her drink and looked at me. "Look lauren, we all care for you. For you and crystal and Jessica. For gods sake lo, I have only seen them once in the last 10 months. You can't hide away. You can't do it all on your own. You have us and so do the babies. But.. If you need a male 'father figure'? Lauren, joeys gone and I know it's sudden but... You need to move on." She said. I let tears drop down my face. "Out. Out! All of you!" I screamed waving my hands about. I shut the door behind Peter and slid down the door. The noises that came out of my mouth, sounded unreal. But they were real, real tears of sorrow and lost. I can't move on but I needed to. I grabbed a big bag I had from the hospital and started to pack my things. I had to move on..


End file.
